Borrowed Angel, in my Hands At Last!

Books arrived Just as I was about to leave the house on Saturday, the doorbell rang. Assuming it was another salesman, I prepared myself for a curt end to our conversation since my family and I were heading out the door. Instead, I watched the mailman drive away, only then noticing the box at my feet. “My books!” I scooped the box into my arms, squealing like a child and leaped my way across the living room. I tore that box open (as fast as you can tear heavy packing tape…which was slower than I desired and ultimately required a knife from the kitchen!) and held a copy of Borrowed Angel in my hands. I smiled and sighed, my eyes a bit teary. I looked at our family wall in the kitchen, where an 8×10 photo of Ty hangs in the center of our pictures. In that moment, I still couldn’t believe that I have the opportunity to honor him and share my pain and growth with everyone.

Ty, bumbo

At 120 pages, Borrowed Angel isn’t a thick book by any means. In all honesty, one of my first thoughts in holding the little paperback in my hands was that  it feels much smaller in print form. I found myself wondering how I fit so much of my heart inside those pages–the most broken pieces of my heart as a mother…healed in powerful ways, but still scarred with missing fragments. The content describes my journey into motherhood, leading into our devastating loss, and then describing powerful lessons I encountered–most of which took place within that incredibly painful yet somehow beautiful first year. Yes, I wrote beautiful. I look back at that time, never knowing I could hurt so badly…yet discovering a closeness to God that I had also never felt before.  That relationship with God, Jesus Christ and feeling the spirit is where the beauty lies.

Now, four years later, a part of me (oddly enough!) grieves for that time period. Truly, it was a special time, where friendships and family bonds were forged because of how unifying tragedy can be, and where spiritual growth occurred because I so desperately and diligently sought after it. I would never want to be at the beginning of that road again…but I can appreciate the wonderful experiences that I encountered along the way.

spread of books


PS: I have something exciting to tell you… even though Borrowed Angel won’t hit bookstore shelves for another week or two, it’s available for purchase ONLINE!

[button link=”″ color=”green” newwindow=”yes”] Buy Online at Deseret Book![/button]

I will also be selling signed copies during my [button link=”” color=”orange” newwindow=”yes”] Borrowed Angel Launch Party[/button] on Saturday, April 12th at 1 PM. Join the event for games, prizes, author Q&A, and signed copies that I can only sell during the event!

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